


Fun with Criminals

by SpeciousMusings (TheInvisibleFishstick)



Category: Achievement hunter GTA AU, FAHC - Fandom, Fake AH Crew (Achievement Hunter), Immortal FAHC - Fandom
Genre: Mogar (FAHC) - Freeform, Vagabond (FAHC) - Freeform, Vav (FAHC) - Freeform, and the rest of the crew - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheInvisibleFishstick/pseuds/SpeciousMusings
Summary: When the Fake AH Crew have free time, they make their own entertainment. And what's more fun than an old-fashioned mugger hunt?
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Kudos: 4





	Fun with Criminals

Sometimes, crime gets boring. Especially for immortals. So every now and then, when business is running too smoothly and rival gangs are being too well behaved, one of the Fakes makes an anonymous advertisement for a job. Unfortunately, low-life contractors seem stubbornly resistant to working against those with reputations like Mogar or the Vagabond, but sooner or later someone takes up a contract on Vav, and the fun begins. 

The Crew can spend hours stalking the poor fool. Tailing him through the suburbs, watching her slip through dark alleys, whatever they could think of before eventually - inevitably - cornering their prey. One time they managed to hack the city's traffic lights and chase the thief on foot through the chaos. That one lasted almost twelve hours.

Once, though, they found someone different. It started simply enough: a business-like acceptance of the contract from someone new to town. The message seemed professional, and the contract was filled with a basic mugging. Basic but for one detail - the mugger didn't cover his face.

They gave him an extra minute's head start.

Five minutes later they were surprised they couldn't find him. Ten minutes later they thought he must have walked into traffic. It was more than twenty minutes before they got their first lead, having resorted to hacking the city's surveillance cameras. The game was on.

A mad dash to find vehicles faster than the Porsche he jacked. A cacophony of roaring engines and squealing tyres through the midnight streets. Drivers yelling at navigators and navigators yelling at each other. Then a fiery crash had Mogar dragging Vav's body down the street, swearing like a sailor about wasted time.

The rush faded as the Crew started to realise what they were dealing with. Their target was clever, organised and, above all, quick. Quick enough to outrun their motorbikes on foot through alleyways. Quick enough to disappear around a corner and show up three blocks behind them. Almost quick enough to be in two places at once. And all for sixty-six dollars.

So with Vav's body stashed in his room awaiting the return of his soul, or spirit, or whatever it was that refused to let their deaths stick, the Crew planned. Maps, intel, codenames - everything. Three hours later, the Crew was back on the streets and armed to the teeth.

Two hours later, half of them were dead. The rest talked about inviting the guy to join the Crew. Maybe, they said, he could take Vav’s place. Then it was back to HQ, but this time there were no plans. Every step they’d taken had been four steps behind this criminal – “the best mugger in this whole damn city”. So each one of them went to what they do best, and for the next ten, fourteen, eighteen hours, they prowled the city. Headlines flashed across T.V. screens and rumours spread about gang wars, terrorist attacks, anything that might explain the chaos the Fakes had unleashed in their game of cat and mouse. There were police chases up and down the highway, fires razing the warehouse district and multiple helicopter crashes.

Eventually – inevitably – they got him. Trapped in an underground car park between the last two Fakes still walking, the man was finally out of places to run. Just as they raised their guns he laughed, and another figure stepped out from the shadows behind them. A figure just as tall, just as lean, and laughing just as much.

One desperate explosion later, a single Fake stumbled out of the rubble. Victorious, but only just.

Over the coming week, the Crew will gather back together and drink to the memory of the two greatest criminals they would ever have the chance to see. They will laugh and cheer with just a touch of sadness at the end of the best game they ever played.

And as this is happening, two bodies will claw their way past concrete and metal back into the open air. Stretching and smiling, the Twins will dust themselves off and take a stroll down the Los Santos streets.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the video "The Greatest Mugger Who Ever Lived - GTA V Let's Play" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MdQmRrRBg8  
> And a Tumblr post by "anarchetypal" describing the FAHC Twins


End file.
